Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Daredevil red & Batman Navy

I'm feeling really warm and content and happy right now. No real reason why that I could think of, just thought I'd pass it along.

Daredevil Red and Batman Navy

I finally found the money to paint my room. I primed the walls white over six weeks ago, but then ran out of funds and patience to do more. Now two of the walls will be dark red, two of them will be dark blue, and the trim will alternate. Because I am insane. And I like to paint. I suspect stamping will be involved before the project is finished, and I don’t know that I’ll be finished any earlier than Saturday night.

Putting on the colors is actually a lot more fun than priming was. I’m more patient with the plaster this time because I’ve worked with it before. Also, I’m not trying to cover up bivouac green with white primer. No, no. Now I’m working with tones that I like.

I also have a lot more room to work with since last weekend when Ron, Dinan and I reorganized half the house. After a week of fights the house got redistributed. The house works much better now, with Ron and I each having a separate room to relax and watch television in, with the both of us having separate cable modem connections. Oh, and we don’t really talk any more. Because we don’t really care for one another. But other than that, things are fine. Truthfully, while I’m sad that our friendship has pretty much ended, I’m also sort of relieved. I felt like I was having to tiptoe around him way too much, and the stress of trying to remain friends was waaaayyy too much at the end. So when things finally got broken for good between us, it was hurtful – but necessary, I think. I had given every effort I could to try and preserve our friendship, and it just wasn’t working. I was on edge all the time in my own house, where I need to relax and unwind at the end of the day. Since we’ve re-organized things I’ve been ridiculously happy, bouncy, and good natured.

A lot of people told me not to move in with friends. I did it anyway; it had been years since I’d had a bad room mate experience. I miss you, Aral, Jennifer, Mikele I suppose room mate luck just doesn’t last forever. Dinan and I remain on good terms, but often her body language is quite tense, which is understandable. It sucks that Ron and I can’t get along.

Now I have more of my own comfort zone; now I can curl up with hot chocolate and watch the new season on Angel or pore over comic books or lay about on MSN messenger chatting with friends for hours. Now I have more space to be myself in my own environment. I’m starting to feel settled and happy on a level I haven’t felt for two years. I’m incredibly happy with my job, where I get fulfilled in this way that I know I’m lucky to experience. I have good books to read, good friends to talk to, and I’m making my room into my own warm little cave for the winter.

In other news I’ve found a going-to-the-movies friend in my upstairs neighbor J. It’s a relief to know someone who will see anything, just like I will. It’s also a relief to start meeting more people here in town. These things take time. It’s all about space and time. There’s no forcing those two aspects of nature to flex more than they already do.

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